Chords
Texas Annie

Key: A

Introduction:

Verse   
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Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan   
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She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband.   
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And when the fog was thick, she'd pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line,   
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'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime.   
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Hard-livin' and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk,   
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She was a liquor-drinkin' dildo-runnin' rascal.   
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With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas   
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An' a probe for every asshole in El Paso.   
F                                                            C  
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas   
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We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear?   
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And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable   
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For a prison term of twenty-seven years.   
Verse   
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Well, she'd rent a room in a cheap saloon and start sellin' all her wares,   
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She'd be drinkin' whisky and gettin' frisky, conductin' her affairs.   
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And by the end of the night, she'd be good and tight, with a girl on either side,   
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And she'd grab her saddle and a ping-pong paddle and she'd take them for a ride.   
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Till the good ol' boys got their good ol' balls all tied up in a sling,   
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And the governor said "I'll have her head, that butch is gonna swing,"   
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The boys felt replaced and they felt disgraced and they chased her hard and long   
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There's no debate in the Lone Star State about who should wear the dong.   
Verse   
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Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas   
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We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear?   
F                                                                      C  
And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable   
G                                                                            Am 
To be tried before a jury of your queers. I mean, peers.   
Am 
Right, definitely peers.   
Bridge   
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Annie in the bedroom picking out toys,   
G  
Annie been caught by the governor's boys,   
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Annie gonna get the electric chair,   
G  
A thousand volts in the derriere.   
Spoken   
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Wooo-hooo! (laugh) Do it again, muthafucka, come on!   
Verse   
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So they strapped her in and the governor grinned, "I guess you've had your fun,   
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Shoulda made your money as a playboy bunny or by selling people guns.   
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So goodnight Texas Annie - I hope you burn in hell,"   
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She said "I'll see you there, you sonofabitch, and I'll see your wife as well!"   
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So he flipped the switch, she began to twitch and vibrate all around,   
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Smoke filled the room, there was a thunderous boom and a high pitched buzzing sound.   
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And as the air cleared, she'd disappeared, and a hundred eyes grew wide,   
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The Men were stiff with horror but their wives looked satisfied.   
F                                                            C  
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas,   
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So here's your chance to stick it to the man.   
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Take every opportunity to whack off with impunity,   
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Gºfuck yourselves as often as you can.