Bm E9 Bm E9
I wonder what he'll think of me! I guess he'll call me the old man
D A7 D A7 D F#7
I guess he'll think I can lick ev'ry other feller's father well, I can
Bm E9 Bm E9
I bet that he'll turn out to be the spittin' image of his dad
D
But he'll have more common sense
A7 D A7 D
Than his pudding headed father ever had
Bm
I'll teach him to wrassle, and dive through
Bm7 E9
A wave when we go in the mornin's for our swim
Am
His mother can teach him the way to behave,
Am7 B7
But she won't make a sissy out o' him
E7 Am9 D7M E7(b5) A7 D6
Not him! Not my boy! Not Bill! Bill!
G G6 Am7 D7 G6 G#º D7
My boy Bill! I will see that he is named after me, I will
G G6 Am7 D7 G6 Bº Am7
My boy, Bill! He'll be tall and tough as a tree, will Bill,
D7 G B7
Like a tree he'll grow with his head held high
Em A9
And his feet planted firm on the ground
D G7M D G6 D A7 D
And you won't see nobody dare to try to boss or toss him around!
D9 G Am7 G7M D7 G C6 G C6 G C6 G C6
No pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully'll boss him around
G C6 G C6
I don't give a damn what he does
G C6 G C6
As long as he does what he likes!
G C6 G C6
He can sit on his tail or work on a rail
G C6 Bb Eb6 Bb Eb6
With a hammer a hammering spikes
Bb Eb6 Bb Eb6
He can ferry a boat on a river
Bb Eb6 Bb Eb6 D7
Or peddle a pack on his back or work up and down
G D7
The streets of a town with a whip and a horse
G Gm A7
And a hack he can haul a scow along a canal
Gm A7 F#m Ab7
Run a cow around a corral or maybe bark for a carrousel
F#m D7
Of course it takes talent to do that well
G C6 G C6
He might be a champ of the heavyweights
G C6 G C6
Or a feller that sells you glue
Em7 A7 C D7(b5) G
Or President of the United States that'd be all right, too
Am7 D7
His mother would like that
G6 Dº D7
But he wouldn't be President unless he wanted to be not Bill!
G G6 Am7 D7 G6 Dº Am7
My boy, Bill! He'll be tall and as tough as a tree, will Bill!
D7 G B7
Like a tree he'll grow with his head held high
Em A9
And his feet planted firm on the ground
D G D G6 D A7 D
And you won't see nobody dare to try to boss or toss him around!
D9 G Am7 G
No fat bottomed, flabby-faced, pot-bellied,
Am7 G7M D7 Am7
Baggy-eyed bastard'll boss him around!
Am
And I'll be damned if he'll marry the boss'
Am7
Daughter a skinny-lipped virgin with blood like water
F6
Who'll give him a peck and call it a kiss
E7 Gm6 G
And look in his eyes through a lorgnette
E7 Am Am7 Dm C E7 Am
Say, why am I talkin' on like this? My kid ain't even been born, yet!
F7 F6 F7 F6
I can see him when he's seventeen or so
F7 F6 F7 F6
And startin' to go with a girl!
F7 F6 F7 F6
I can give him lots of pointers, very sound
Gb6 Abm6 Gb6
On the way to get 'round any girl
F7 F6 F7
I can tell him wait a minute! Could it be?
Gm7 C7 Am D9 Am D9
What the hell! What if he is a girl? Bill, oh Bill
Am D9
What would I do with her? What could
Am D9
I do for her? A bum with no money!
C
You can have fun with a son,
G7 C G7 C E7
But you got to be a father to a girl
Am D9 Am D9
She mighn't be so bad at that a kid with ribbons in her hair!
C G7 C
A kind o' neat and petite little tin-type
G7 C Bb C7
Of her mother! What a pair,
I can just hear myself bragging about her!
F A7 Gm C7(13) C7
My little girl pink and white as peaches and cream is she
F Bb F Gm Gm7 C7(b5) C7
My little girl is half again as bright as girls are meant to be!
Am7 F Bb C7 Am7 F E7/A E7
Dozens of boys pursue her, many a likely lad
A Bm9 E7 A7 D7 G7(13) C7
Does what he can to woo her from her faithful dad
F A7 Gm C7(13) C7
She has a few pink and white young fellers of two and three
F Bb F G9 F C7 F
But my little girl gets hungry ev'ry night and she come home to me!
B Eb
I got to get ready before she comes!
Bb7M Gb Bbm
I got to make certain that she won't be dragged up in slums
Bbm7 Gb Ebm F Bb Dm Bb
With a lot o' bums like me she's got to be sheltered and fed and dressed
Dm Bb Dm Bb Eb7M Ebm Bb
In the best money can buy! I never knew how to get money
Bbº F7 Bº Bbm F
But, I'll try, by God! I'll try!
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