Key:
Introduction: G Em C D
G Em9
(Kate) When I was a girl, just a little girl
Am D
I couldn't wait 'til I became a woman
G Em9
And I could grow a thatch of curls
Am D
A deep, dark forest to keep me warm in this cold world
G Em9
Days became weeks, weeks became months
Am D
Months turned to years and it was like magic
G Em
It grew and grew, the greatest bush
Am D
That the kingdom ever knew
C
But at the turn of the millennium
Em
A fever gripped the land
Am
It was decreed that all the women
D
Look like little girls again ...
G Em
But now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D
Growing a downstairs beard for you
G Em
I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D ( G)
Growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you-hoo-hoo
G Em
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
C D ( G)
Merry Christmas, I'm growing it strong and true
G Em
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
C D
Ding dong, ding dong
G Em9
(Johann) When I was a boy, just a little boy
Am D
I was embarrassed by my body's changes
G Em9
But then one day at the local pool
Am D
I saw a life guard with hair growing out of his anus
G Em9
I was so impressed, it looked like Tom Selleck's chest
Am D
He was so proud as he towelled it down
G Em9
I couldn't wait to cultivate
Am D
My very own hairy bum gown
C
But at the start of the millennium
Em
Spandex gripped the land
Am
Every back sack and crack was attacked with wax
D
Now I'm growing it back, a gift for you to unwrap ...
G Em
Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D
I'm growing a downstairs beard for you
G Em
I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D ( G)
I'm growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you-hoo-hoo
G Em
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
C D ( G)
Merry Christmas, I'm growing it strong and true
G Em
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
C D
Ding dong, ding dong
Em F#m G
We'll keep each other warm at night
Am Bm F G
With our jingle bell hairy stalactites
Em F#m G
We'll watch each other grow and grow
Am
I'll stick to you, I'll stick to you
D
Like velcro
G Em
(Kate) I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D
Growing a downstairs beard for you
G Em
(Johann) Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D
I'm growing it big, growing it thick
G Em
(Both) Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D
I'm growing a downstairs beard for you
G Em
Now I'm growing a beard downstairs for Christmas
C D ( G)
I'm growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you-hoo-hoo
G Em
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
C D ( G)
Merry Christmas, I'm growing it strong and true
G Em
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
C D
Ding dong, ding dong