Key: G
Introduction:
Gm Cm
Feeling kinky, lip syncing to Too $hort's "Freaky Tales" (Biatch!)
Gm Cm
Having creepy visions of whiskey drinking
Gm Cm
And envisioning sneaking into where Christie Brinkley dwells
Gm Cm Gm
I know this is risky thinking but I wanna stick her like she's decals
Cm
But when murdering females
Gm Cm
Better pay attention to these details or you could be derailed
Gm Cm
Better wear at least three layers of clothing or be in jail
Gm Cm
If you get scratched because your DNA'll
Gm
Be all up under her fingernails
Cm Gm
Man, he hears you, I don't think he cares
Cm
He gives a fuck, even his pinky swears
Gm Cm
Three personalities burstin' out of me, please beware
Gm Cm
Her TV blares, can't hear the creaking stairs
Gm Cm
She's unaware in no underwear, she's completely bare
Gm Cm
Turns around and screams, I remember distinctly
Gm
I said "I'm here to do sink repairs"
Cm Gm
Chop her up, put her body parts
Cm Gm
In front of Steven Avery's trailer and leave 'em there
Cm Eb
But hey man, I was framed
Gm Cm
I know what this looks like, officers
Gm
Please just give me one minute
Cm Eb
I think I can explain
Gm
I ain't murdered nobody
Cm Gm
I know these words are so nutty
Cm Eb
But I'm just here to entertain
Gm
How come your shirt is so bloody?
Cm Gm
There's a missing person, so what? He's
Cm Eb
Got nothin' to do with me
Gm Cm Eb Gm
I'm almost certain I was framed
Cm Gm
Woke up, it was dawn, musta knew somethin' was wrong
Cm Gm
Think I'm becomin' a monster 'cause of the drugs that I'm on
Cm Gm
Donald Duck's on, there's a Tonka Truck in the yard
Cm
But dog, how the fuck is Ivanka Trump in the trunk of my car?
Cm Gm
Gotta get to the bottom of it to try to solve it
Cm Gm
Must go above and beyond, 'cause it's incumbent upon me
Plus I feel somewhat responsible for the dumb little blonde
Cm Gm
Second murder with no recollection of it
Cm Gm
Collectin' newspaper articles, cuttin' out sections from it
Cm
Memory's too fucked to remember, destructive temper
Gm Cm Gm
Cut my public defender's jugular then stuck him up in a blender
Cm Gm
Another dismembered toddler discovered this winter probably
Cm
'Cause the disassembled body
Gm Cm
Was covered up in the snow since the month of November oddly
Gm
I'm wanted for questioning
Cm Gm
Them son of a bitches probably just wanna pin this on me
Cm Eb
But hey man, I was framed
Gm Cm
I know what this looks like, officers
Gm
Please just give me one minute
Cm Eb
I think I can explain
Gm
I ain't murdered nobody
Cm Gm
I know these words are so nutty
Cm Eb
But I'm just here to entertain
Gm
How come your shirt is so bloody?
Cm Gm
There's a missing person, so what? He's
Cm Eb
Got nothin' to do with me
Gm Cm Eb Gm
I'm almost certain I was framed
Cm
Still on the loose, they
Gm
Spotted me inside McDonald's Tuesday
Cm Gm
In a Toronto Blue Jays cap, lookin' like your college roommate
Cm Gm
With Rihanna, Lupe, Saddam Hussein, Bobby Boucher
Cm Gm
Or was it Cool J? The cops is on a goose chase
Cm
Just escaped from the state pen
Gm
For eight women who hate men
Cm
Don't make it no weirder, I'm naked
Gm
When I break in your basement
Cm Gm
Under your baby's play pen, I lay in, wait adjacent
Cm Gm
Facin' the door, remainin' patient while stayin' complacent
Cm Gm
Blatant sexual implications are continuin' to get thrown
Cm Gm
Insinuations are placed in little riddles and poems
Cm Gm
Left on your pillow in hopes, that when you get home
Cm Gm
You'll get the hint, ho: I'm in your window
Cm Gm Cm
But it never occurred to me I could describe a murder scene
Gm
In a verse and be charged with first degree
Cm Gm
'Cause it just happened to match up perfectly
Cm
With the massacre or the Burger King burglary
No, officer, you see
Cm Eb
But hey man, I was framed
Gm Cm
I know what this looks like, officers
Gm
Please just give me one minute
Cm Eb
I think I can explain
Gm
I ain't murdered nobody
Cm Gm
I know these words are so nutty
Cm Eb
But I'm just here to entertain
Gm
How come your shirt is so bloody?
Cm Gm
There's a missing person, so what? He's
Cm Eb
Got nothin' to do with me
Cm
I'm almost certain I was framed