Key: G
Introduction:
Gm D#
I know what you're all wondering
Gm
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
D#
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
A#
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
D#
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
C
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
D#
I'll tell you why
A# F D# Gm
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
F
It's those damn fat gloves
A# F D# Gm
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
F
Cos the tea goes everywhere
Gm
The tea goes everywhere
Gm D#
Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
Gm
From their traditions to their modern way of life
D#
But all their elegance and rich history
A#
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space
A# F D# Gm
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
F
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
A# F D# Gm
And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
F
You might puncture the suit
Gm
You might depressurize
G# C#
But it's those damn fat gloves
F
They're the main problem
F# C#
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
F F#
You can't make an origami swan
G# A A#m D#
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
D# C#
Well I've tried and they don't let you
F#
Fucking NASA red tape
Gm D#
I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
Gm
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
D#
I had to find myself a whole new job
A#
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place
A# F D# Gm
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
F
It's those damned fat gloves again
A# F D# Gm
Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
F
I'm haunted by fat gloves
A#
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
F
Or ride a Kawasaki
D# F#
When you're an astronaut
F#(let ring) G#(let ring)
Em C
I know what you're all wondering
Em
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
C
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
G
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
C
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
A
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
C
I'll tell you why
G D C Em
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
D
It's those damn fat gloves
G D C Em
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
D
Cos the tea goes everywhere
Em
The tea goes everywhere
Back to verse
Em C
Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
Em
From their traditions to their modern way of life
C
But all their elegance and rich history
G
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space
G D C Em
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
D
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
G D C Em
And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
D
You might puncture the suit
Em
You might depressurize
F A#
But it's those damn fat gloves
D
They're the main problem
D# A#
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
D D#
You can't make an origami swan
F F# Gm C
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
C A#
Well I've tried and they don't let you
D#
Fucking NASA red tape
Em C
I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
Em
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
C
I had to find myself a whole new job
&nb