EVery year at Christmas time my friends all like to bake
They make cookies, rolls, and bread and ham and pie
And for some weird reason they all send me a fruitcake
When I tell them that I ate it it's a lie
I use them as an anchor for my boat out on the lake
I've made barbells for my cousins Merle and Luke
But if I try to eat some my intestines start to quake
'Cause fruitcake makes me puke
Fruitcake makes me puke
It happens everytime I eat it so I know it's not a fluke
Fruitcake makes me puke
That's the one thing about Christmas that no one can dispute
Fruitcake makes me puke
I keep one in my office as a handy paperweight
I hear they're used as hammers in Debuke
But when I try to eat some I can't get it off the plate
'Cause fruitcake makes me puke
CHORUS
And the main thing about fruitcake that I have found
It looks the same way comin' up as it does goin' down
CHORUS
Well that's the one thing about Christmas that my family can't dispute
Fruitcake makes me puke
INTRO out