I was watch'n TV with my buddy Stevie,
when I saw the strangest thing.
It was so compelling a woman selling
Maxi Pads that had wings.
I turned to channel three and what did I see,
a woman who looked real rich.
She was liv'in on a hill and pitch'n Vagisil
for the special feminine itch.
So I tried once more and I turned to channel four,
I was shocked I must confess.
A gal who was chunky said when she's smell'n funky
she just squirts it with FDS.
Well it's on every station it's plug'n up the nation
with feminine hygiene ads.
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments
and don't forget your Maxi Pads.
Cause they have wings to fly,
lets give it a try, for feminine hygiene.
Well a mama and daughter walk'in by the water
somebody don't feel fresh.
Monistat Seven put her back in heaven
cause the yeast really makes a mess.
A middle aged debutant look'n for a lubricant,
they still can hear her voice.
Her mama done told her when a woman gets older
the muffin downstairs don't stay moist.
Well it's on every station an over saturation
of feminine hygiene games.
Creams and lotions and all her emotions
and all the water she retains.
It's so insane this game,
there's to many names for feminine hygiene.
Why do we have to view,
all that stuff girls go thru.
It's really got my stomach reeling
.
Lets give those ads we see
a hysterectomy
or at least, make them more appealing.
Cause there on every station an over saturation
of feminine hygiene ads.
Douches and ointments an OBG appointments,
Creams and lotions and all her emotions.
Summers Eve and Massengill
and if you itch use Vagisil
Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X,
Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an Replens
Motrin and Midol for when your suicidal,
Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this a pad for that
The list goes on and on.
It's so insane to me
it's on my TV
Feminine Hygiene
Oh! Oh! Oh!
It's on my TV it's Feminine Hygiene