1. Oh, help me, please doctor, I`m damaged, there`s a pain where there
once was a heart. It`s sleeping, it`s beating, can`t you please tear it out
and preserve it right there in that jar.
2. Oh, help me, please, Mama, I`m sickening, it`s today that`s the day
of the plunge. Oh, the gal, I`m to marry, is a bow-legged sow,
I`ve been soaking up drink like a sponge.
3. "Don`t you worry, "Get dressed!" cried my mother, as she plied me with
bourbon so sour . "Pull your socks up, put your suit on,
comb your long hair down, for you will be wed in the hour."
4. = verse 1.
6. I was trembling as I put on my jacket, it had creases as
sharp as a knife. I put the ring in my pocket, but there was a note,
and my heart it jumped into my mouth.
7. It read, "Darling, I`m sorry to hurt you, but I`ve no courage to speak
to your face. But I`m down in Virginia with your cousin Lou,
and there`ll be no wedding today."
8. So help me, please doctor, I`m damaged, you can put back my heart
in its hole. Oh, Mama, I`m crying tears of relief,
and my pulse is now under control