When I was young, I used to be
As fine a man as ever you'd see
'til the Prince of Wales, he said to me
Come and join the British army
Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo
They're lookin' for monkeys up in the zoo
And since when have I had a face like you?
I'd join the British army
Sarah Comden baked a cake
It's all for poor old Slattery's sake
She threw meself into the lake
Pretendin' I was balmy
Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo
I've made me mind up what to do
Now I'll work me ticket home to you
And pfft the British army
Sergeant Heeley went away
And his wife got in the family way
And the only words that she could say
Was blame the British army
Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo
Me curse upon the Labour blue
That took me darlin' boy from me
To join the British army
Corporal Sheen's a turn o' the 'bout
Just give him a couple o' jars o' stout
He'll bake the enemy with his mouth
And save the British army
Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo
I've made me mind up what to do
Now I'll work me ticket home to you
And pluck the British army