Key: E
Introduction:
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Every one in this room has been associated with Whitey,
Either through basketball, or the mall, or the various odd jobs he does around town for
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I'm guessing ninety-nine percent of you have either laughed in Whitey's face or
ruthlessly made fun of his feet or voice or shortness or his sister when he wasn't looking
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But the next time he'd see you he'd still go out of his way to wave and smile and ask
you about your mother's operation or something like that because he unlike us actually
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My life was simply going no were
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Then a tiny little man rushed to my side
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He should've gotten a big thank you
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Instead he got a port-a-potty ride
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I was such a sh *t-head
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But he never quit on me
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'Till i told him he was useless
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And his sister was freaky
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Once when we were watching Sunday football
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A fuzzy screen was all that we could see
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Whitey came over with a hanger
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And spent the game on top of our T.V.
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And when the lightning struck him
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He let out a wicked loud yell
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But we just turned up the volume
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And ignored the burning smell we should all rot in hell
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I went to high school with Whitey
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As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom
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When he got there I said, 'I can't believe you thought I was serious'
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So he ran home crying and slow-danced with his mom
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What a crushing blow to Whitey
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I bet you wish you could take it back
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How could you all be so mean to Whitey?
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Sound to me like you are all on crack
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Tonight Whitey was counting on this town to show that we care
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But the first time he really needed us we weren't there
And on Christmas Eve and the last night of Hannukah
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Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum
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I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand (Yes)
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Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum